voices

so i've been thinking about voices . . . no not the ones in my head (altho maybe i should listen to those)no, i've been watching all of these nooma videos that rob bell produces (nooma.com). if you aren't familiar with him, he's a pastor out in michigan who produces various videos that deal with issues in our society. while they are all done extremely well and are entertaining, they are more importantly exceptionally thought provoking. i would certainly hope that his voice, his message, these nooma videos are producing change. i'd like to think, and i guess so would rob bell, that his videos are becoming a voice that people are listening to. and of course change happens because they have.there are many other people who have big voices causing much change. Bono has done wonders for Africa--there's a lot to do, but its far better now than before. then of course you have Al Gore-- has done a lot of global warming (that's what they tell me, i mean he did win a nobel peace prize).within the Christian community . . well lots of people have had big voices too. billy graham, robert schuller, amy mcpherson, beth more, joel osting, td jakes, ff bruce, etc. i think paris hilton's, britney spears', jay z's, and many other celebrity's life have voices that many listen to as well. ii don't think it carries anything life that is postive life transformational, but people certainly do listen to them. their voices that is. and if they listen long enough . . . i suppose it changes their life too. think about musicians . . . they have big voices too. . . .think about the lyrics they sing and how that can create change . . . . amazingly though, there are billions of people that are living right now, that no one but their family will even know that they had a voice. their voice doesn't reach past the walls of their home.i guess some people's voices are bigger than others. why is that?does it have to do with their message? or is just their platform that they are speaking from? you can have people like mother theresa who doesn't even really talk . .. yet her voice booms (did and still does i think) throughout the world. and so i find myself beginning to ask myself what is my voice going to be like? or what has it been like? and i'm watching these videos and inside of me something starts to throb. the best i can describe it is . . . well . . . i want my voice to be heard.and i begin to wonder will it? and even if it does, get heard that is, will it matter? will lives be changed because of my voice? i mean there are lots of people who have big voices that can be heard by a lot of people, but i question if it really matters if people are listening to what they have to say. i don't think i want that kind of voice.i read through Scripture and i see these people who had BOOMING voices. the elijah's, david's, moses', daniel's, jon's, peter's, esther's, ruth's, tamar's, rehabs, mary's, . . . and i think they carry the same message that every single Christian today carries.this message of hope and grace. this message that says despite what life looks like at this very moment it can be incredible and its found in this person of Christ. a message that destroys despair, removes fear, and causes immeasurable joy no matter what the life circumstance is. they carry all carry the same message of compassion and grace, mercy and love. . . the same Holy Spirit to empower those words to cause them to come alive. . . . i mean holy crap who wouldn't want to hear that message?wouldn't a voice carrying that message automatically have an imapct? how could it not?i suppose any voice that carries that voice will have an impact in the very least of those around them. the immediate families and friends. . . but what about more than that? why is it that i have this desire to have MORE impact? and well . . . is that okay?but i see lots of t.v. preachers and other pastors in very small villages and towns across the country and world that preach that very same message but their voices are not affecting nations at a time. and i couldn't possibly say that isn't success. so again i ask, why are some people's voices so big and others . . . . not so much?and i'm not invalidating the change and impact that the pastor has had on that small town . . . how could i? but still i wonder what separates the big voices from the little voices? what separates the big voice that impacts and can actually radically shape and shift a culture with its message and the voice that just impacts those around them and never leave their home let a lone the city or the state?and don't tell me it has to be with words . . . because Mother Theresa didn't do much talking, but her life certainly told a story that the world won't soon forget.is it even okay that i want a big voice? maybe the big voice thing just happens because we are satisfied to have the little voice. or maybe we're satisfied to not even have a voice, that we are willing to let our transformed life by the message of Jesus be our voice . . . and everything else flows out of that.i think sometimes i want the big voice just so i can be heard. i don't think that's a very good thing.but something inside of me believes that there's something much larger at play than me just wanting to be heard . . . at least i hope that there is.