9.01.2009

i'm lost . . . . so what

so there's this tv show . . .its called lost. . .have you seen it? i haven't so if you have please respond to give me the full picture. but from what i understand its a bout a group of people who crash either by plane or boat i'm not sure on this island where no one else is supposed to be. .. only come to find out they aren't the only ones. there are these crazy monsters or "island people(?)" on the island as well.

yeah what a story line.

so anyway, i got to thinking what if they actually make it off the island. and they return home, like for example the movie "cast away" with tom hanks. (this i have seen). do they, as well as tom hanks, see that time as wasted time? do they few those days, months, or years as this strange time removed from the rest of their life? do they resent that time because it greatly interrupted the rest of their lives?

for tom hanks, well he gets to the island engaged (or about to be), successful fed ex dude and rather overweight. when he gets back 4 or 5 years later he's lost more than just his belly. but his job is gone, the love of his life is married and has kids with some other cat . . . . his life is completely and will be completely different than it had been before his crash or before his being lost.

what would be tom hanks reflection on his time on that island? would he view it and only think about all the things he'd lost and look at it as wasted time?

i feel that i've been in a general season of being lost. there are dreams in my heart and life to do so much more than what i'm currently doing, yet no breakthrough. plans and visions that constantly come at night time or through out the day and yet that's all they are because they aren't coming to fruition. and when i cry out, i most certainly don't feel like i'm being heard. its as if i'm in the middle of the desert screaming and no one hears.

and i feel lost--on the back side of the desert --forgotten even by the One who i believe gave me those dreams. . . and i am at the danger point of feeling that this time has been wasted.

i wonder if i was tom hanks how ticked i would be to look back at the island and see all my time spent with wilson as a waste worth nothing . .. something tells me i might. that i get back to the states, the love of my life is gone, my job gone, life completely altered . . . not seeing a happy ending here.

what i would probably miss is all of the character stuff that was formed inside of me. the things that happened and shifted inside of me because of that season of being lost. i think i would miss seeing as a time of being prepared.

and i would also probably not see that i was WAY TOO immature for those very dreams and visions that are still in front of me. that's my problem, i always think i'm ready way before i am. i have a feeling that the time spent with wilson would be a way to mature my immature self.

the problem is i think i'm the only one whose been lost before--no i'm not talking about the cast of cast away or tom hanks.

but Scripture is full of them.
moses spends 40 years in the desert BEFORE the burning bush experience.
david spends 14 years in and out of caves inbetween being anointed as king and taking the throne. in fact at one point he's in a cave called, adellum. in hebrew that means, "cave of no forseable future."
joseph has these crazy dreams and gets sold into slavery, spends 14 years in prison before a forgetfull butler remembers him and tells pharoah about him.
Esther spends years in a kings court without really having to make a difference.
Rehab spends years being a prostitute before she becomes gigantic in the sacking of Jericho

and in all of these cases a serious season of "lost" played on their live's tv sets before their dreams and destiny's came to pass. why .. . i'm not exactly sure but i think it has to do with that vision being formed in their hearts and minds and them not being ready for it.

and Israel had the same case. in isiah 49 israel feels just that, forgotten and lost. they've had this promise of a major nation and yet they sit in babylon captive and their home and identity destroyed. if there's anyone who feels lost its them. and in fact even after God tells them all of your dreams are even too small that i will do way over and above that, they still say, "we've been forgotten, we're lost and no one can find us, our time and lives are useless and meaningless."

that's when God says this rather amazing stuff . . . He says that even as a mother can't forget her child nursing at her breast so I do not forget you (talking to Israel here) and that Israel's name is marked or tatooed on my (God still speaking here) hands and your walls with forever be in front of my eyes.

the fact is that we aren't lost and certainly not forgotten. God sees us and in His strange way He is orchestrating a much larger plan than what we can see. its scary to think that He would be apart of that season, but i think its true.

in hosea he tells Israel that Hes going to take them out of the city and lead them into the wilderness. but He tells them there, He's going to be there with them, allure them, speak lovingly to them, and re-establish a covenant with them. that lost-wilderness place is Divinely set up -- its to get us alone with Him--so the jist of it is . .. we aren't by ourselves and it didn't happen by accident. there's real purpose in it.

oh yeah and that time isn't wasted. our times in these deserts, caves, and prisons are hard yes, but in it He's doing a work in us, He's causing stuff to come out that needs to be out and putting stuff in us that needs to be put in us.
so that when we do come out of that prison or cave or out of the desert, we are able to handle the pressure of the dream and vision.

i guess i'm convinced that i'm never ready for the dream or vision when i think i am--thus God in His incredible wisdom uses these caves and prisons as the preparation for something so much larger than just myself. and in it we learn things that go beyond our own scope of understanding but its always about a greater plan, a greater vision, a greater kingdom.

so when we do get off the island and get back to civilization we hit the ground running --because we are formed trained to do so. there isn't a time of mourning over what was missed . . . but rather a rejoicing because our perspective has changed -- we actually become grateful for the island -- it got us ready for civilization.